Read this... Whoa!

Adrian Tan's Speech at NTU Convocation 2008

Life and How to Survive It

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of
Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation
address. It's a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten
minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this
as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the
editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her
expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home
during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling
people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is
because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs
is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you've
already won her heart, you don't need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be
married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some
of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many
times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of
education. You're done learning.

You've probably been told the big lie that "Learning is a lifelong process"
and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters' degrees and
doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell
you that? Teachers. Don't you think there is some measure of conflict of
interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they
be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they're wrong.

The bad news is that you don't need further education because your entire
life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You're in
your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be
70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the
average life span of a group of people. But I'm here to talk about a bigger
idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the
country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and
Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those
countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football
teams are all hopeless. There's very little danger of any of our citizens
having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators
are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an
average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years
longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend
in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you'll have another 40 years
to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they're 50,
40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation.
They would be very disappointed that they didn't meet their life expectancy.

I'm here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it's calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to
expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling
in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you
should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much,
where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an
awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your
life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against
average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don't need years
of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life's a mess. You are not entitled to
expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in
the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things
happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a
poor armour against fate.

Don't expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is
over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will
ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life
and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as
good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful
things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is
undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term "Karoshi", which means death from
overwork. That's the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also
kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your
soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there's nothing left. A rock has
been ground into sand and dust.

There's a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people
working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are "making a living". No,
they're not. They're dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives
doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain
dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan "Arbeit macht frei" was placed at
the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that
you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You
may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy
doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two
reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in
itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and
I would do it for free. If I didn't do that, I would've been in some other
type of work that still involved writing fiction - probably a sports
journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don't imagine you will
need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good
idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I'll go further and say the ideal
situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your
passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy
showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession.
Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don't, you are
working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those
of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I'm not asking you to
speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible
to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and
you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take
to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being
evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out
the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to
appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great
frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that
you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It's not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every
great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just
by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has
caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous
instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it's often the case that
one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one's own
convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be
accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards
the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a
great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you
must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something
wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn't say "be loved". That requires too much compromise. If one changes
one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to
tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation.
That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We've taken a microscope to
everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a
reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one
reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work - the only kind of
work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction
and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In
loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn
the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving
is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to
choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn't happen by
chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly,
sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed,
but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less
important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not
reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire
you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving
someone. You either don't, or you do with every cell in your body, completely
and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are
reborn, all the better for it.

Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

You're going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there's no life expectancy.

Clearing of Facebook Applications

Way too many facebook applications. Spending some time to clear all the unneccessary junk now... Mostly all the personality tests.


What Common Stereotype Do You Fit?

EMO
You're the person who everyone avoids, makes fun of, or perhaps envies. You write sad poetry and maybe slit your wrists once in a while. You're hopelessly depressed, and think on a daily basis how to seek attention. Don't worry, nobody gets you anyway.

What type of Person Are You?

The Smart Kind (picture of encycopedias)


What does your birth date mean?

You're so intuitive, it's like you have senses beyond just the 5 senses humans have. You connect with others freely and easily - and you tend to have many good friends. Warm and caring, it's hard for you to close your heart to anyone. For people you are a shoulder they can lean on, a shoulder of love and affection.

What Music Instrument are you? (best version!)

Clarinet
You are quite, reserved, but very creative. A lot of people don't seem to understand you because you have your own 'beat'. You enjoy both the light and dark side of life, and sometimes this comes off as a little creepy. You are sometimes too quite, you need to learn to speak up!!! You are very intreperative and creative in your workplace/activities and tend to be a good follower. You often dislike confrontation and would rather just forget problems, as opposed to fighting or talking about them. You love to read and write, and love to look very 'Posh'. Although you are often misunderstood, you are undoubtably cool.

You know everything that is needed to know. You perfer a more quiet and relaxed environment.

Oh... I'm getting lethargic here... simple copy-paste now.





One last thing...

Money

It can buy you a House,
But not a Home.

It can buy you a Bed,
But not Sleep.

It can buy you a Clock,
But not Time.

It can buy you a Book,
But not Knowledge.

It can buy you a Position,
But not Respect.

It can buy you Medicine,
But not Health.

It can buy you Blood,
But not Life.

It can buy you sex,
But not Love.

So you see, money isn't everything. The best things in life can't be bought, and often we destroy ourselves trying!

I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want to take away your needless pain and suffering...

So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.

A truer Friend than me you will never find.

=)

Chow-time!

Can one person win the War?

There's been many things going on these past few weeks, so much that I' ve been losing alot of rest time during weekdays ( and trying to catch up during weekends - such as now)

What I have learnt and experienced then is this important lesson that seems so high and mighty till you bring it down-to-earth: When time is lesser for you to regard it as yours to use, it very much becomes more precious. However it takes motivation as well as forward sight to use it well.

Last time I really regarded sleep to be quintessential to my weekend life. Now, I really have to convert that time to something I can use to equip myself with the ability to value civilian life. Spending time with my family, friends, playing sports, reading in the library can now be considered rare luxuries at this time of my life. Maybe a year back, I wouldn't even have considered this. Even then, studying was hard, and things get even more tough this year. During the short breaks with my buddys, all of us unanimously agreed that schooling was a very productive time of our lifes. So for the people taking the A' levels or other examinations soon, make your time worthwhile and enjoy what you study, because there are some things you cannot choose as true adulthood creeps in.


Some thinking I have been sorting out. From this week's Thursday I shot up my appointment from section commander to platoon commander. Now thats from 14 buddys to 53 buddys all of a sudden. So, as with all people related appointments, I have to come up with a plan to bond up all of us and yet fufil the superiors' requirements. Not forgetting to stay or improve likeablity among my peers.

But its only been two weeks since the start of the new course. The standard of appointed commanders had been dropping, so when I took up the post, my standard met up with resistance from the slackers. In my view, we should defer to the superiors and give them our respect, but it isn't a universal view. This climaxed during the area cleaning 'punishment' from one of the men of the top (NOTE: BOMBSHELL), and I was not fully confident that everyone would do their part even though we should book out earlier together. So I've been held wondering - What is the motivation of these people to insist on these actions? Can they be relied on to serve when called upon? And what should I do to motivate them to see duty as a boon instead of bane? To be fair, I know that my performance hasn't been perfect and most of the platoon can be cooperative, but what I really want to know is what really would fire up everyone to excel and NOT WASTE OUR TIME.

I heard that most of the altheics from the Olympics do not live to a long age - most of them die at around 40 plus years old due to the fact that they over-stress their bodies and mental state. But I feel that the quality of time spent, rather than the quantity of time matters to all humans. Imagine the time they spend training and training to break barrier after barrier of their physical limit. Why about it?

I'm starting to really hate the mentality of some Singaporean men. It is permissionable that not everyone will work till they are of Olympian standard, but then what does the word COUNTRY really represent to us Singaporeans? If not for country, do they have a inner person to answer their actions to? Why about it?













Now for one timeless question...

WhAt does the "C" in Vitamin C stand for? (Warning: This is a prank version)


It's a way to off tune my pumped up (self-rightous-yeh-rite) self. Enjoy!

Time Of My Life – David Cook

Got this song into my head ever sice my section mates wanted to sing this for happy hour on Monday. As if we are all superstars on the stage of the School of Infantry Specialist ;)

Its been really a Time of OUR Life.



Time Of My Life – David Cook

I’ve been waiting for my dreams
To turn into something
I could believe in
and looking for that magic rainbow
On the horizon
I couldn’t see it
Until I let go
Gave in to love
Watched all the bitterness burn
Now I'm coming alive
Body and soul
Feelin’ my world start to turn

And I'll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time
This is the time to be
More than a name or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life…

Holdin’ onto things that
Vanished into the air
Left me in pieces but
Now I'm rising from the ashes
Findin’ my wings and all that I needed
Was there all along
Within my reach
as close as the beat of my heart

And I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time
This is the time to be
More than a name or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life…

Now I’m out on the edge of forever
Ready to run
Keepin’ my feet on the ground
My arms open wide
Facing the sun

And I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time
This is the time to be
More than a name or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life…

More than a name or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life…

This is the time of my life…
Time of my life…

Timely update

Yo,YO!!! Its' been quite some time since I last blogged. Time to get my typing fingers warmed up... Ouch, because my hands have burst blisters.

Managed to rewatch "Saving Private Ryan" cause I got inspired by 'encik'. This guy is my company's Officer Commanding who is a Staff Warrant, and also a ranger. So wow! This week he gave a lecture on leadership, and one of the break times recommended this movie as something to watch and understand whenever a BIG RED BUTTON is pressed. Dead bodies... High velocity projectiles... displacement of limbs... shag and still have the guts to command as well as lead in the face of all adversity.

If I didn't have Jesus in my heart I doubt if I could have slept peacefully. So thank you, LORD for protecting me and providing peace all along this few months. I do realise that having power to kill requires great exercise of authority and self-control, or this world will end up as a much sadder place. Like we need more depressants as it is.

Did another random bout of surfing again after booking out late.

This link is a special email convo between a officer and a non-officer quite a few years back. But still, I think that this epimises that stupid men really bring forth their bad habits and assumptions along their way of doing work ( or duty).

http://www.mrbrown.com/blog/2001/10/i_is_a_saf_ocif.html

Then there's this other link that measures logic (because I'm starting to doubt my sense of logic, or I always read things too far). Blame it on a certain selection test I had in the morning. I managed to score 80percent! It's quite bad though, cause I had to think some of them through again before deciding on the answer.

click for logic test

Have fun studying/surfing/playing, while I and the rest of the guys take crap and serve this Nation, supposedly strong and free. Oh, and National Day is around the corner :-) --> Hints* early book out, Olympics on 080808 and celebrations on 090808to catch :-)))